Going Back to the Start Line

It feels good to come here and write. I love writing. However, what brings me to write today is sad. 

Quite sad. 

It's probably clear to you that these are mixed feelings. I'd say sadness prevails at the moment, though. 

These past few days...  I wasn't feeling well. I cried like a baby last night. I cried to sleep. It's because earlier this week my trauma was triggered. A deep wound got triggered by a situation that I hate to call simple (it is). 

[By the way, all of this contradiction upsets me. I mean the contradiction of my faith in how strong, blessed, and growing I am on one hand, yet still a novice in front of a trauma I have been trying to heal for years. It feels like going back to the start line, to zero, to step 1. It feels sad, and bad. ]

I know I will reflect on this in a few days and add a few lines [that all of this is only a part of the truth ... only a part of the full story.]

You must have your trauma. I think most people do. I hope this post doesn't trigger it, yet if it does... then I hope it inspires some peace too. 

It's a path we have to take. I wouldn't run away. I want to heal. My heart deserves the light.